Consumer Appliance Warnings

Got our new Microwave yesterday - one of the over-the-range models to go with our new stove. It´s really nice but getting to know it gave me two good laughs...

After I got it installed I noticed a button on the front panel labeled "Message" - I´m thinking perhaps it displays the last message from the LCD for review - WRONG. I press the button and the display changes to "Recording" with a count-down timer. It was then I realized that our new microwave has a digital audio recorder built in... when I could breathe again from laughing I figured I had better read the manual for this puppy and see what other mischief I could get into.

Recently I have started reading all the product warning messages in manuals - not for fear I´ll need the warning, but because some of them are priceless. Now you must always approach warning messages with the thought in the Back of your Head that either some idiot actually did one of these or there was a lawsuit About it - or the warning wouldn´t be there - my new microwave certainly didn´t disappoint.

After the standard idiot ones About not running it with the door open etc I came across a Heading titled "Egg Precautions" first they went into not cooking whole eggs to prevent them exploding - ok, this I can perhaps see... but then -drum roll- "Do not poach eggs in a microwave oven. Pressure can build up inside the egg yolk and will cause it to burst, possibly resulting in injury"

They are kidding right - I can see the tombstone now - Pat Smith, Loved by all - died tragically by egg yolk... How could egg yolk cause an injury - well foremost, and assuming the first warning About keeping the door closed is being followed, what kind of egg would you need to be cooking such that a "burst" egg yolk would blow the door off it´s hinges At this point return to premise one - if a warning exists either someone did this or there was a lawsuit - I´m going to bet on the lawsuit angle for this one: "Yes your Honor, the egg yolk was travelling at high velocity." ... "No your honor I was not operating the microwave with the door open"

The mind boggles...

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